1. Start with a simple statement: "We sampled the outcrop at 1-m intervals."

2. Put it in the passive voice, to dilute the responsibility: "The outcrop was sampled at 1-m intervals."

3. Expand with terminology that does not add meaning: "The rockface of the outcrop was sampled at multiples of equally spaced 1-m intervals."

4. Build in noun strings and modifiers: "The rockface surface of the outcrop was grab sampled at multiples of equally spaced 1-m statistical intervals."

5. Add a qualifier of uncertain relation to the original statement: "Due to the character of the outcrop, the rockface surface was grab sampled at multiples of equally spaced 1-m statistical intervals."

6. Add noun strings and terminology to the qualifier: "Due to the degree of weathering and inherent bedding character of the outcrop, the rockface surface was grab sampled at multiples of equally spaced 1-m statistical intervals."

7. Separate related words: "Due to the degree of weathering of the outcrop and inherent bedding character, equally spaced surface grab samples at statistically significant 1-m intervals of the rockface were taken."

8. Equivocate: "Due to uncertainties concerning the degree of weathering of the outcrop and inherent variations in the bedding character, more-or-less equally spaced surface grab sampling at statistically significant 1-m intervals of the rockface was apparently necessary."

9. Obfuscate: "Resulting from the innate uncertainty involved in determining the (relative) degree of weathering of the outcrop and inherent variations in the bedding character, it appeared that taking of more-or-less equally spaced surface grab samples at statistically significant 1-m (100 cm) intervals of the rockface was called for. Therefore, this was performed at that time and coordinated with measurements of bedding character, unit thickness, and strike and dip."

10. Finally, cover your tracks to make yourself look good: "Resulting from the obvious innate uncertainty involved in determining the (relative) degree of weathering of the outcrop, and significant, inherent variations in the bedding character, a number of sampling strategies were considered. It appeared that taking of more-or-less equally spaced surface grab samples at statistically significant 1-m (100 cm) intervals of the rockface was essential. Therefore, this was painstakingly undertaken at that time and coordinated with determinations of bedding character and unit thickness, along with carefully measured and recorded observations of strike and dip."

Note: Based on a concept by Gerald Grow at Florida A&M University, maintained by Dr. David R. Davies at the University of Southern Mississippi.
(URL: http://ocean.st.usm.edu/~ddavies/gerald.html)