HABITS, HABITS, HABITS

Everyone is ruled by habits. Fortunately, many of these are positive habits---brushing your teeth, going to church, synagogue, or temple, et cetera. However, everyone also has some bad habits.

Habits of behavior are controlled by habits of thinking.

Habits of thinking are influenced by habits of behavior.

Habits of thinking and behavior are often significantly controlled/influenced by others---parents, spouses, advertising, politicians, employers. Your task in life is to learn more about yourself so that you are more in control of your habits and less manipulated by others and develop as many positive habits as possible.

Nonie Birkedahl, MSW, wrote THE HABIT CONTROL WORKBOOK. The following quotations are taken from her book, which is well worth your time and investment. Remember that the following is only a small sampling of what she has to say. In order to effectively deal with all the negative habits in your life, you will need to start with the following quotations. However, that is just a beginning, an important beginning, that should be followed with a lifetime of learning about how to understand yourself and how to take good care of yourself.

"A habit is an acquired behavior pattern that becomes almost involuntary after many repetitions. One characteristic of negative habits is that some anxiety or tension precedes the act, and performing the habitual behavior relieves that tension" (p. 1).

"The more destructive the habit, the greater the amount of tension required to trigger an episode of your habit. Unfortunately, there is also a price for this relief. With any negative habit, you feel regret and remorse about your behavior after it is over. Not so with good habits...These negative feelings are the key to identifying the habits you want to lose" (p. 2). (The habits addressed by this book are ones such as overeating, compulsive spending, gambling, lying, explosive temper, smoking, et cetera---not anorexia, bulimia, self-mutilation or the more complex habits that require professional intervention.)

KEEPING RECORDS

"Unmaking old habits and replacing them with new ones starts with collecting information about yourself. For that you will need to keep some records..record exactly what happens before, during, and after you do your habit. You need to keep a record faithfully every day for two weeks before proceeding to the next step" (p. 19).

CONSEQUENCES

"Because you dislike your habit, you may not be aware that some of the consequences of your habit are positive and rewarding...An examination of these opposing kinds of consequences will help you to understand why your habit is so hard to control Consequences fall into two further categories: natural and unnatural. NATURAL consequences are predictable and obvious. UNNATURAL consequences are neither predictable nor obvious. They result from other people's reaction to the situation. For example, if Joe doesn't water his lawn, it will turn yellow and die. That is natural and therefore predictable. The unpredictable consequence is his wife's reaction to the death of the lawn" (pp. 27-28).

TALKING TO YOURSELF

"You have internal cues. You talk to yourself, and you answer back" (p. 51).

"You think about the events happening around and to you all the time. Your thoughts are words you say to yourself. Whatever happens just before you do your habit is called an ANTECEDENT EVENT. Antecedent events are cues...they trigger your habit. By becoming aware of these events, thoughts, and feelings, you can change. You may be able to change certain antecedent events themselves. Others, which are not under your control, can be avoided. All can be handled by changing your reaction to them...the most important part of the antecedent event is what you say to yourself. Your tension, and the accompanying feeling of depression, is caused by your interpretation of these antecedent experiences and what you say to yourself about them. You'll learn to talk back more effectively by refuting negative statements and incorporating positive affirmations" (p. 52).

EXTERNAL CUES

"External cues can be people, things, or events. External cues are things you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste" (p. 71).

If you can't avoid or eliminate your cues, then you can change your cues. For example, if you smell pizza, then you can use it as a cue to go to a quiet place and really enjoy the taste of some fresh strawberries instead of indulging in your old habit of gorging on pizza.