Escaping
the Land of In-Between
by Elizabeth Ferguson
An old friend visited my apartment the other night, and after the
formalities of weather and tea, solemnly announced "I'm gay."
"Of course you are." I replied, and unfazed proceeded to gossip
about university affairs -but he was upset.
"Didn't you hear me? I'm
GAY!!!" he yelled, jumping up and becoming livid.
I just held my mug and said "Sure.
You didn't expect to live in this town and stay unaffected, did
you?"
He shook his head and we hugged before he left.
I have lived in the Land of In-Between for six years now and I've seen it
work its magic. Here is the place
where girls become women, boys become men, and universities become businesses.
I have lived in this town of flux for so long that the alterations worked
upon people no longer surprise me.
Like most residents, I moved here of free will, wanting to change myself,
and then I became trapped. It takes
a while to control and manage the changes.
I sometimes look at newbies, the young ones riding the high that your
first turn gives you and I shake my head. There's
no way to tell them the secret I've gained - it's a spell you have to discover
for yourself.
This town by its nature is confusing and far from user friendly.
You must learn to change the way it seeks to change you.
Here exists The Center Of The Universe stocked with all manner of things
that facilitate a person's transformations: alcohol and caffeine, nicotine,
sugar, and chocolates that coat the tongue; rolling papers, condoms in a variety
of sizes, shapes, and colors; ramen noodles and minute rice.
All of these things can work their magic on you, and every shopper who
uses them without care or knowledge of their subtle curses is doomed.
A cousin came to visit from a more stable place a few days ago, and
watching me cook remarked: "You've changed" and I laughed and replied:
"Not as much as some", but I could see the confusion in his
eyes and it made me look at myself. You
can't live in this town and expect to be unaffected.
My hair is long where it once was short, my wardrobe is now free of play
clothes and I have become the following things: a cook, an accountant, and a
keen observer. These are just some
of the causes of my cousin's upset, he who went to technical school where the
more things change the more things stay the same.
So I said "I'm turning
into a graduate", and let him in on the secret, which doesn't matter
because he doesn't live here.
It took me some study of the town's particular curses and totems to find
my way out. I made pilgramages into caves that whispered for me to Cope
while I was marched single file to empty my pockets.
I bowed in submission to the temple where the sacred texts were kept.
I consulted the oracles of dead bank robbers and sought visions from
their killer and kissed the monolith both on Main street and the old highway for
good measure. I went without sleep, I went without food, and I lost my way
so often that I know the Land of In-Between like the palm of my hand.
This knowledge has given me some mastery over the metamorphosis.
Here is part of the secret: change
into an escaping form.
In the full moonlight I sought the dwarfed tree with an old pair of shoes
and an aching bladder. The tale is old: nail your shoes to this tree in these woods,
give it your water, and gain the power to leave forever.
As I approach the tree I instantly see a grievous wrong and fall to my
knees. The shoes are gone. I sit in
shock, knowing it is too late; this spell is gone with the missing shoes;
nailing my shoes as a new pair will have no effect because this spot is de-magicked
somehow. I can leave this town but having consumed the food of The
Center Of The Universe I am forever cursed to return.